On Feminized Strengths & Moving Beyond Binary Leadership Models

At reframe52, we’re always reflecting on how power, privilege, and social norms shape the workplace. One reality that too often goes unchallenged is the way leadership qualities traditionally associated with femininity—such as empathy, collaboration, and emotional intelligence—are systematically undervalued.

In many workplaces, leadership is still measured by outdated, rigid standards that prioritize traits like dominance, competitiveness, and assertiveness—qualities historically coded as masculine. But here’s the truth: leadership that centers care, connection, and adaptability isn’t “soft” or ineffective. It’s a set of tools in our toolbox to build strong teams, drive innovation, and create meaningful change.

Today, we’re unpacking why feminized leadership traits continue to be overlooked, how rigid gender norms limit leadership potential for people of all genders, and why it’s time for workplaces to expand their existing leadership frameworks.

What are feminized leadership traits?

Feminized leadership traits are qualities and approaches that have been socially associated with women or femininity. They are not inherently tied to gender—anyone can embody them—but due to deeply ingrained biases, they are often dismissed as secondary to more traditionally “masculine” leadership styles.

Some of these undervalued qualities include:

Collaboration Over Competition

Rather than centering on hierarchy and control, some leaders foster teamwork and collective problem-solving. Leaders who prioritize collaboration create environments where diverse perspectives thrive, leading to better decision-making and stronger workplace relationships.

Studies indicate that collaborative leadership yields better performance than autocratic styles. A survey of 262 managers found a positive relationship between collaborative leadership and organizational performance (Maalouf, 2019)​. A University at Buffalo study analyzing 136 leadership studies found that while assertive individuals may be quickly labeled as leaders, it is collaborative leadership behaviors that actually make leaders most effective.

Empathy & Emotional Intelligence

The ability to understand and respond to the emotions of others is a critical leadership skill. Yet, showing emotional intelligence is often mistaken for weakness, despite research showing that leaders with high emotional intelligence foster more engaged, motivated, and productive teams.

A 2023 comprehensive literature review by Isabel Coronado-Maldonado and María-Dolores Benítez-Márquez concluded that emotionally intelligent leaders improve both team behaviors and business results.

Active Listening & Communication

While more direct, "aggressive," top-down communication styles are often rewarded in professional settings, the ability to listen deeply and communicate thoughtfully can lead to stronger relationships, clearer expectations, and a more engaged workforce.

Community-Oriented Decision Making

Rather than prioritizing on short-term individual gain, focusing on long-term success and the well-being of the collective can build trust, sustainability, and equity within teams.

Adaptability & Flexibility

Workplace challenges require leaders who can pivot, re-evaluate, and respond to evolving needs. Yet, flexibility is often framed as indecisiveness rather than a necessary skill for effective problem-solving and team management.

Why are these qualities devalued?

The devaluation of feminized leadership traits is rooted in gendered social norms that have long defined what “good leadership” looks like as in alignment with stereotypically masculine qualities (as defined by many Western cultures). Many workplaces still favor hierarchical, command-and-control leadership models, even as research and real-world success stories show that collaborative and emotionally intelligent leadership fosters better outcomes.

Bias plays a major role here—women and people of all genders who lead with empathy or prioritize collaboration are often penalized for it. They may be seen as “too nice,” “not authoritative enough,” or less competent compared to leaders who exhibit dominance and assertiveness. These double standards push many to conform to traditional leadership models rather than embracing some of their core strengths.

The Problem with the Gender Binary in Leadership

One of the biggest barriers to leadership equity is the rigid, binary way leadership is framed. By associating certain leadership traits with masculinity and others with femininity, workplaces reinforce outdated ideas about who is “naturally” suited for various roles, responsibilities, and opportunities, and how well they align with preconceived notions of how they should behave based on the gender binary. This harms everyone.

For women, there’s a constant push and pull: those who embrace feminized leadership traits are often dismissed as weak, while those who lead with traditionally masculine traits—like directness, assertiveness, or decisiveness—are often seen as "too aggressive," "bossy," or "unlikable." This means women in leadership have to walk a fine line, proving their authority while also managing expectations of warmth and approachability. This double bind—being perceived as either too soft or too harsh—creates additional barriers for women in leadership, forcing them to constantly navigate impossible standards.

For men, this binary leadership model discourages emotional intelligence, collaboration, and adaptability—qualities that are crucial for effective leadership but are often labeled as "soft" or unmanly. Men who lead with empathy and care may face backlash or be perceived as less competent simply because they do not conform to traditional, Western, masculine-coded leadership norms.

And for queer and gender-expansive leaders, the gendered expectations around leadership can be especially restrictive. Many face additional layers of bias, particularly when their leadership styles don’t align with the rigid expectations of either "masculine" or "feminine" leadership. This often results in erasure, exclusion from leadership opportunities, or increased scrutiny in the workplace.

Ultimately, framing leadership through a gender binary does more than create inequities—it limits leadership potential. It forces people into restrictive categories instead of allowing individuals to lead authentically and leverage their unique strengths, enriching both our organizations as a whole and the network of relationships that drive them.

We can't afford to define leadership by who speaks the loudest or takes up the most space. We also have to think about who fosters growth, trust, and environments where people can thrive.

Feminized leadership qualities dismissed as “soft skills” like —empathy, collaboration, adaptability—aren’t just nice to have; they are essential to workplace success. Yet, our current structures still fail to recognize those who lead with them, and people of all genders who don’t conform to rigid binary gender expectations are often penalized or held back.

It’s time to stop measuring leadership through a gendered, binary lens and start valuing a fuller spectrum of skills. Companies that recognize and uplift diverse leadership styles see stronger teams, better retention, and more innovation. Let’s challenge outdated biases, advocate for inclusive leadership, and create workplaces that recognize the strengths of all the unique people that make up our organizations.

What shifts do you think are necessary to build more inclusive leadership structures? How have you seen gendered leadership bias show up in your workplace?

References:

Badura, K. L., Grijalva, E., Newman, D. A., Yan, T. T., & Jeon, G. (2018). Gender and leadership emergence: A meta-analysis and explanatory model. Personnel Psychology, 71(3), 335–367. https://doi.org/10.1111/peps.12266

Coronado-Maldonado, I., & Benítez-Márquez, M. D. (2023). Emotional intelligence, leadership, and work teams: A hybrid literature review. Heliyon, 9(10), Article e20356. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.heliyon.2023.e20356

Maalouf, G. (2019). Effects of collaborative leadership on organizational performance. International Journal of Multidisciplinary Research and Development, 6(1), 138–144. https://doi.org/10.22271/ijmrd.2019.v6.i1.25

Tremmel, M., & Wahl, I. (2023). Gender stereotypes in leadership: Analyzing the content and evaluation of stereotypes about typical, male, and female leaders. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, Article 1034258. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1034258

The Diversity Movement. (n.d.). Lead with empathy: How understanding employees drives success. Retrieved from https://thediversitymovement.com/lead-with-empathy-how-understanding-employees-drives-success/

Catalyst. (2021). Empathic leaders drive employee engagement. Retrieved from https://www.catalyst.org/about/newsroom/2021/empathic-leaders-drive-employee-engagement

Bonomi, A. (2019). The double bind facing women in leadership. Michigan State University Today. Retrieved from https://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2019/amy-bonomi-the-double-bind-facing-women

University at Buffalo. (2018). Men still more likely than women to be perceived as leaders, study finds. Retrieved from https://www.buffalo.edu/news/news-releases.host.html/content/shared/mgt/news/men-still-more-likely-than-women-perceived-leaders-study-finds.detail.html

MIT Career Development Office. (2022). Empathy is the most important leadership skill according to research. Retrieved from https://cdo.mit.edu/blog/2022/05/05/empathy-is-the-most-important-leadership-skill-according-to-research/

American Association of University Women. (n.d.). Barriers and bias: The status of women in leadership. Retrieved from https://www.aauw.org/resources/research/barrier-bias/

Stanford Graduate School of Business. (n.d.). The language of gender bias in performance reviews. Retrieved from https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/language-gender-bias-performance-reviews

Center for Creative Leadership. (n.d.). To create a better culture, start with compassionate leadership. Retrieved from https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/create-better-culture-start-with-compassionate-leadership/